“Change is good, you go first” by Mac Anderson and Tom Feltenstein

Let’s be honest – change sucks! Doesn’t matter if you’re changing your diet, sleeping habits, caffeine consumption or your career. There are a lot of factors that make change scary but most of all change applies pressure to our comfort zone. Doesn’t matter your age, sexual orientational or educational pedigree – we all enjoy our comfort zones because it’s, well, comfortable! Let’s dive deeper into this topic and look at possible ways of “changing” how we think about change.

Change is change, yep, I meant to say that :). Change requires an interruption to your normal; you change a pattern, an idea, a way of doing things and that can be scary because the end result is unknown. So, let’s admit that this new road you are on is scary, but it can also be a road of self-discovery, an adventure. Who doesn’t like adventures? 

Change could mean failure. Maybe this is not your first ride on the change “merry-go-round” and the thought of failure is real and unpleasant because your brain is trying to protect you from past experiences. You are thinking, “do I have the strength to try again?” A better question to ask, “how are you defining success?” Maybe the act of just considering change is a win within itself……

Change was not your idea.  We are exposed to more than 10k advertisements per day, so we are bound to see or hear something and think, “I’ll do that”; the question is should you? Change is personal and requires deep thought. In order to keep momentum, you need to make sure your change is personal. Change is not immediate and remembering why you started will get you through the slow, ordinary days.

Change needs pain.  Have you ever done something over and over again, you hate the result but there you are doing it again? Me too. But I do remember a few times when I got sick and tired of being sick and tired of that result and that prompted me to change. Sometimes we have to run into the wall of pain before we stop. If you feel you can’t change, it’s okay – once the pain of staying the same gets to be too much, change will be there waiting with open arms.

Change requires a different vantage point. The entire world came to a halt in 2020. Millions of beautiful, amazing people lost their lives, some lost their lively hoods and to say the pandemic required change from all of us is putting it mildly. Even though this may have been the toughest year for humanity in a long time, not everything was horrible. Some people were able to (re)connect with themselves, their family and priorities shifted. Some left the cities for a slower life in the country side, some moved to the city to fulfil a lifelong dream. Look at the change you are pursuing from a different vantage point, maybe it doesn’t look so scary now.

Change takes time. You’ve heard over and over again, you didn’t get into debt overnight and you will not get out of it overnight. Well, the same is true for change. There are no shortcuts, if it were, we would all be gazillionaires and super models, but the process of change can be insightful. The insight comes in those ordinary days, doing it again and again until you look up one day and you have the change you’ve been pursuing. It’s becoming your new normal but that only happens with time. You have the time, so use it.

Change feels like a loss. You stopped smoking and it has impacted on your breaks, your shopping habits, even your nightly routine. You no longer meet your colleagues for a smoke break. You don’t have the financial impact of buying cigarettes. You aren’t standing outside in the cold while your family watches a movie. You didn’t realise that this change would have such a domino effect on other areas of your life. What do you do with the extra time? Extra money? Sounds like a good problem to have but to you, it feels like you have lost something you enjoyed, like comrade, solitude and that’s okay. Your feelings of loss are valid and real. You may need to sit with yourself, a friend that has been through the same change or a therapist, to think and talk through your next move. The last thing you want to do is replace this change with an unhelpful replacement. Give yourself grace because you have a right to your feelings but don’t go it alone, there is support available. 

Change is constant even if you don’t realise it. Traffic routes change due to construction, daylight savings time changes in some parts of the world and you have changed. Your desires, your dreams have changed since you were a teenager or young adult, but because these are happening unconsciously, you don’t register the change; you just adapt. A conscience change will register and that means a mindset change must come into play. 

First, recognise the need for change (i.e., you are living paycheck to paycheck). Secondly, understanding why change is needed (i.e., living paycheck to paycheck is causing stress and it’s impacting your physical and mental health). 

Finally, gradually create action steps to change (i.e., unsubscribing from certain emails, create and maintain a budget, save a certain percent with each paycheck). Don’t do everything at one time, that’s a recipe for disaster. Take your time, acknowledge your feelings and ask for support because if you don’t change you will end up where you are heading and that may be the scariest thing of all.

Remember to keep Enjoying the Journey.