Design Your Life

A woman with long hair is looking out of the window.


Our lives are full of demands and distractions; experts say some of us check our phones over 100 times per day. This can make it easy to lose sight of our true aspirations and values. We spend years in school and our careers to make a life but are you living the life that you want? By intentionally designing the life that you want, you can reclaim control over your time, money and overall direction. Just like anything that you design, you must make conscious decisions that align with your core values and long-term goals.
Today’s blog post will explore the importance of designing the life that you want and provide practical examples on how to have a life that reflects your essence. Please know that I’m not a financial advisor and these examples are directly from my life. This blog is for educational, entertainment and informational purposes only and not to be construed as personal investment advice.
 
Mindset
As with everything in life, how you see the world, reflects your internal world. If you think that life is hard and you have no control, you will look for things to confirm this bias. I’m not saying that negative things are not happening around each of us – it is – but not everything in life is negative. Whether we chose to believe it or not, there is still good in this world. Practical example: When I was $414k in debt, I felt stuck. After listening to a sermon by Joyce Meyer and watching Dave Ramsey explain the baby steps, I felt like I had a plan – there was hope; I had to stop worrying and start doing. Saving that first $1k was not easy but we did it. Paying off the first small debt felt like I had won the lottery. I began to see and believe that being debt free was possible. My mindset had completely changed from someone that felt hopeless to someone that was full of possibilities. I knew it would not be fast but seven years later, it happened. I was completely debt free and it felt like my whole life in front of me.
 
Reflect, then Clarify your Values and Aspirations
To design the life you want, it is critical to understand your personal values and aspirations. Your personal values are your central beliefs that shape your thinking, inform your decisions and guide your actions. Take time to reflect on what truly matters to you and what brings you joy and fulfillment (your aspirations). This self-discovery exercise will help prioritise your decisions, ensuring they align with your authentic self (your essence) to guide your new actions. Practical Example: In 2013, I had a good job and even better colleagues but I wanted to live and work abroad, I wanted new adventures and experiences. The simple exercise of writing down my values in one column and then the action I was currently doing in another columned really opened my eyes to see. One of my values was adventure but I was working 65 hours a week (no real adventures there). Another was independence but my debt was keeping me dependent on the rat race. I kept this paper in my purse and would pull it out in the ordinary days when nothing big was happening, it helped me to remember why I started.
 
Create Clear Goals
Once your values and aspirations are clear, it becomes easier to set personal goals that serve as goal posts on designing the life you want. Break down your long-term goals into smaller, manageable steps that you work on daily, monthly, annually. These explicit goals should be written using the SMART method (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time-bound). This will help guide your decision-making process and provide a sense of purpose and direction. Practical Example: I had a goal of selling my newly purchased Jeep Safari and buying a car outright to get back and forth to work. I went to Carmax (a US based used car retailer) to see what they would give me for my Jeep. I was informed that I was underwater by $5k but I knew I had a pending bonus and tax refund. I told everyone that I was looking for a used car, nothing expensive and one of my colleagues told me that he was selling his 20 year old Honda Accord. The day I received my bonus, I drove to Carmax and used my bonus check to pay off my Jeep and my a portion of my tax refund to buy my colleagues’ Honda Accord. Some people that I was nuts – a 20 year old Honda vs a beautiful Jeep – but I knew what my values and goals were. Using my entire bonus check was not fun but I was taking action to line up with my goal of being debt free. I was out from under a monthly car payment and to this day, I have never bought another car on credit.
 
Simplify and Declutter
Digital, physical and mental clutter can create obstacles to living intentionally. Simplify your environment by decluttering and letting go of possessions that no longer serve a purpose. Remove unused objects from your home and work space – it is a sunk cost – holding on to it will only remind you of a past decision that you now regret. Sell or donate it to help someone else while helping yourself prioritise what is important NOW. This simplification will create more mental space and allow you to focus on what truly matters. Practical Example: I worked in sports marketing so I had a lot of signed memorabilia in my office and at home. It looked great on the walls and in cabinets but my focused had shifted to my goal of moving abroad debt free. I begin selling everything (except three basketballs that were given to me by my colleagues and the NBA)! Not only was I decluttering my physical environment, I was decluttering my mental environment. The money from the sells was helping to pay off debt which made going to bed at night a lot easier.
 
Practice Making Quality Decisions
Designing the life you want involves being mindful and deliberate in decision-making. Making a quality decision requires you to evaluate how your decision (your choice) aligns with your values and goals. Consider the consequences of your decision and how it will impact the overall vision for your life. This seems simple but requires you to stop and think, not to be emotionally driven. Practical Example: Moving abroad sounds like a dream to most (and I’m grateful everyday for my new life in Europe) but there is a side that social media does not cover a lot. The financial burden and impact on your relationships once you move. The task of learning a new language, a new culture and being physically separated from everything you understand. Even simple tasks like how to connect utilities or open a bank account can drive you to drink! Before I left the US, I had to change my way of thinking and fully embrace the reality my new European life. I made the decision that trips to America would be limited to every other year. I would no longer celebrate American holidays like 4th of July or Memorial Day, I would be working – yikes!
Design Systems to Achieve your Goals
Designing a system will help you stick to those goals you created. I recommend reading, “Atomic Habits†by James Clear. His book is practical and helps you to understand how to build and break habits effectively, so you can reach your goals by designing systems. Remember, at Enjoying the Journey, we are not striving for perfection but a change to a helpful habit, which leads to a the life you want. Practical Example: I have a daily goal of drinking 2 litres of water before 7pm. My system is to fill my 1-litre water bottle up every night before bed so I can grab and go the next morning. I refill after lunchtime to ensure that I will meet my goal before dinner, then rinse and repeat.
 
Embrace Flexibility and Adaptability
Life is unpredictable and dynamic, embracing flexibility allows for adjustments. Designing the life you want is a marathon not a sprint, so practice self-love when life calls…..a nice long walk-in nature (or a glass of your favorite beverage) can do wonders for your mood! Practical Example: Living in Europe has definitely come with it’s ups and downs. Many, many unexpected challenges. I think I’m more comfortable being uncomfortable than ever in my life. When life throws me a curve ball, my favorite thing to do now is put the kettle on and have a cup of hot tea. I’ve never EVER been a tea drinker but my British girlfriend taught me how to prepare a proper cup of tea and I love it. I use to “white knuckle†my way through bad times but after a lot of therapy, I’ve learned that I need to acknowledge how I feel and deal with those feeling. NO, a cup of tea will not make all your problems go away but it does help me slow down and realize that I still have the modern comforts of life and to relax……this too shall pass.
 
Designing the life you want is an ongoing journey that enables you to live a life of purpose and fulfillment. By clarifying your values, setting clear goals, decluttering your environment, making quality decisions, designing systems and embracing flexibility, you can design a life that aligns with your essence. Living the life you want is not about perfection but rather about making choices that honor your values and allow you to lead a meaningful and authentic life.
 
Remember to keep Enjoying the Journey.