From learning to truly relax in a country that shuts down on Sundays, to discovering that ‘food’ means something entirely different here, my decade-long adventure has taught me lessons I never even knew I needed to learn.

If you’ve ever dreamed of living abroad, or you’re simply curious about how a change of scenery can lead to a change of mind, stick around. Because in the next few minutes, I’m going to take you on a journey that might just inspire you to see your own life in a whole new light.

Now, I want to be clear about something: This isn’t about bashing America. I love my country, and I’m incredibly grateful to be an American. The education I received and the career I built in the States laid the foundation for everything I’ve accomplished. What I’m sharing today is about personal growth and balance. The drive and ambition I learned in America served me well, but I took it to an extreme. I allowed myself to get out of balance – that’s on me, not my country.

What living in Europe has taught me is how to take those American values of hard work and ambition and blend them with a more balanced approach to life.

This journey isn’t about choosing one culture over another. It’s about learning from different perspectives and finding what works best for you. Whether you’re in Harlem, NY or Haarlem, Netherlands – the goal is the same: to live a fulfilling, balanced life.

So as we go through these lessons, I invite you to think about how you might apply them in your own life, wherever you are. It’s not about changing everything, but about finding those small adjustments that can make a big difference in your overall well-being. 

I don’t know if one can ever be fully prepared to adjust to a new country, culture and people but I do believe that being curious, having an open mind and heart is a huge part of trying.  

I hit the ground trying to learn everything: the customs, culture and navigating daily life (ie., opening a bank account, getting an apartment, setting up utilities – my new job only promised a salary for 12 months – nothing else) and it was not easy, I made so many mistakes but I felt like I had to get everything right, because it was my bright idea that we are here and we didn’t have a plan B. 

But first, I had to learn to RELAX.

Learning to relax (lesson one):

I decided that I would go grocery shopping on my first Sunday in Germany.  I could take my time, and browse.  The parking lot was always full when I drove past during the week, so I knew I would have to park and walk a bit, but it’s fine, I have time. 

As I approached the store, there were no cars….where is everyone?  I parked near the door and didn’t see any lights on, so I thought I was there before they opened.  I walked up to the door and so they were closed.  What the hell?  Little did I know, the entire country shuts down on Sundays (thanks google). 

How can a whole country shut down, this doesn’t make sense.  This ‘inconvenience’ would teach me one of my most valuable lessons. 

In America, I was use to the 24/7 convenience culture and the Germans had an emphasis on work-life balance and family time.  My colleagues explained that most people that work in service jobs want and deserved to have days off with their families just like everyone else.  And, most of the people working in these service jobs are women with children, so Sundays are reserved for family time:  walking in the forrest or going to a café for coffee and cake.

So we thought, when in Germany:  so we started to take walks in the forest.  To be honest, I didn’t like it at first because I was focused on going a certain distance or just trying to remember the route we took so we could get back home but Sunday after Sunday, I started to look forward to that mental break that I got from walking through the forrest. 

Along the way would be little snack houses where you could get water or beer (it is Germany after all).  We would walk a bit, sit and talk a bit, and we both enjoyed not sitting in front of the TV or computer.  Even though the Netherlands doesn’t shut down on Sundays, they do enjoy life DAILY!  The Dutch calls this mindset, “Niksen” (meaning:  the art of doing nothing), but more about the Dutch later!

As I learned to embrace relaxation, I started to notice other areas of my life that needed attention… this is where I discovered the importance of self-care.

Self Care (lesson two):

While on a work trip to Madrid – I learned something that I’m still battling with 10 years later.  My college years had such a profound impact on my thinking and I’ve continued with some habits like, eating junk food instead of “real” food.  I was walking with my Argentinian colleague, now friend around Madrid and she stated that she was hungry.   

“Okay, there’s a shop, let’s grab some chips and keep walking”, I said.  With a puzzled look, she said “why would I eat chips?  The look on her face was one of “what the hell is wrong with you.  She continued, “I’m hungry, I need food.”  

What in the world was she talking about, aren’t chips food?  Well, apparently not!  

A few moments later, we were entering a little restaurant for a late lunch.  She seemed thrilled with her decision to wait a bit longer to find “food†which caused a lightbulb to go off in my head.  I was a product of the American fast food/snack culture but here, the emphasis is on sit-down meals and fresh, whole foods.

Do Europeans eat junk food, of course.  Do I still eat chips, of course.  However, I’m more conscious of how I treat my body when it comes to nutrition.  This has had a knock on effect with walking, hydration, sleep and therapy. 

Taking better care of my body naturally led me to reconsider how I was spending my time.  This led me to slow down and appreciate each moment.

Slowing down (lesson three): 

My one year temporary contract was extended to full time however, I was recruited by a Dutch company and move to the Netherland after 3 years of living in Germany.

I was told that the Dutch culture was close to my American culture but from my perspective they are very, very, very different.  Of course there are some similarities – we are all human after all – but one of the biggest differences between how I did things in my American office and Dutch office was lunch. 

I usually ate at my desk while working or had a working lunch, got to love our American ‘hustle culture’.

My Dutch colleagues practically staged an intervention, insisting I join them for a proper break. It felt strange at first, but soon became the best part of my workday.  We would sit and eat and afterwards go for a short walk.  You may be thinking, who the hell eats and then go walking, especially if it is hot outside – the Dutch! 

As I learned to slow down and savor each moment, I began to appreciate what I already had.  I was learning the art of contentment.

Learning contentment (lesson four): 

During the pandemic lockdown, we found ourselves in a tiny Dutch village, unable to travel or socialize.

Instead of feeling trapped, I was surprised to find a deep sense of peace. It was then I realized how much my perspective had shifted.  While in America my focus was on constant growth and achievement but after 7 years of living in Europe, I had found the appreciation for quality of life and I was embracing ‘enough-ness’.  We had finally paid off my $135,000 student loan debt and were in a position to purchase a home. 

We knew we wanted to live near the sea but we also knew, we didn’t want anything grand, just enough for us.  Just enough to continue to enjoy the small things in life, a swim in the sea or meeting friends for a walk. We’ve been living in our new home for three years now and I’m grateful every morning I wake up to see the sea from my living room window.  I sit to have a cup of coffee and thank God for this journey even though there have been lots of twists and turns.

Just a few weeks go, I lost my job.  I’m not sure what is next for me, but I am sure that I will embracing this twist with an open heart and full trust in God. 

As I wrap up this journey through my 10 years of living abroad, I hope you’ve gained some insights that might inspire changes in your own life. Remember, you don’t need to move thousands of kilometers away to reshape your thinking or find contentment.  The key is being open to new experiences and perspectives, wherever you are.

Hopefully, this post has sparked something in you. Maybe you’re thinking, ‘I want to make a change in my life, but where do I start?’ Well, I’ve got good news for you. I’ve created another post that’s all about designing your life, packed with practical tips on how to do just that. It’s the perfect next step if you’re feeling inspired to make some changes.

In it, I’ll walk you through practical steps you can take to start reshaping your life, whether you’re planning a big move or just want to bring some American to European-inspired balance into your daily routine.

Remember, the most important journey is the one happening inside your mind.   Keep exploring, keep growing, and as always, keep enjoying the journey!